Maybe You Should Quit More
Counter to popular belief there may be a role for finishing fewer of some things
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I’d be very surprised if readers weren’t familiar with Angela Duckworth’s work on “Grit”, or at least the concept of it as has permeated into popular culture. In essence, not giving up and being ‘gritty’ (not the dance) is said to be key in success. I am not here to argue this point, but perhaps to offer some scenarios where the blind completion of something because “you don’t quit” is not helpful. This is particularly pertinent in aspects of health and with the context of our limited time (on whichever horizon you wish to take this statement - within a day, within a week or on this planet in general).
Acknowledging the advice to '“write for yourself because then at least you’ll have an audience of one”, I very much am embracing this piece as advice to myself as much as anyone else.
Glasses
Increasingly the data in support of moderate alcohol consumption is starting to crumble and giving way to the notion that the best amount of alcohol for health is zero. That said, as mentioned in this article, there may be contexts where this is less the case given the ‘net’ result of the situation.
But this isn’t really about your choice to drink or not, it’s about your choice to finish your drink.
We have all done it, ordered something, started drinking it and not really enjoyed it that much, but finished it anyway. This has to end, hat tip to Peter Attia for this one, but the concept of “if I don’t love it, I am throwing it out” is a great one in my mind. The blind belief of ‘not wasting’ alcohol is misguided. There is no need for alcohol - so feel liberated to decide not to finish your next glass of something if you don’t love it. Your health will be better for it.
In the same spirit (see what I did there), do not feel obliged to ‘just finish the bottle’ once you start.
*Note this is not meant to support food waste, but rather to support mindful consumption
Books
For THE LONGEST time, I couldn’t not finish a book. No matter how much I wasn’t enjoying it, I would just blindly use brute force to get through it. Not retaining and just hating it, so that I could say I had finished it. This is absurd. Especially given my propensity for Tsundonku.
I’ve since stopped finishing books I am not enjoying, started skimming portions of books I have the gist of (in the non-fiction realm) and generally enjoying my reading more. Not to mention making a (small) dent in my reading pile.
Plates
One of my greatest creations is my “what makes a dad vs just being a father” pie chart. This chart states being a dad is 30% dad jokes, 30% being able to reverse a trailer, 30% being able to finish everyone else’s plates and 10% being a father.
It’s great, I know. It may even been prophetic for the ‘dad bod’ - if you finish enough people’s plates you’ll earn a dad bod sooner than later.
Enter “Hara hachi bun me,” the Japanese concept of “eating until 80% full”.
Yes, there is some great research on things like using smaller plates, dishing up less on them and even chewing your food more (as I discussed here). And these all serve the the meta concept of not over eating, but perhaps the notion of eating until 80% full or “satisfied not full” is the unlock you needed. So feel free to not finish your plate (or everyone else’s for the Dads in the readership).
Desserts
This may as well redirect you to the alcohol or plates sections above. But given the health problems we have in the world it deserves it’s own section.
If you don’t love a dessert, or you’ve had enough, feel free to not finish it. Take this as your permission.
Programs
Many people spend a lot of time exercising and some training - the distinction being, at least in my mind, about being goal driven, progression and mindset. All training is exercise, not all exercise is training. But this is neither a terminology or psychophysiology lesson.
The problem for many people, be they training or exercising and be it for health or performance, is that they aren’t measuring much. As a result they are probably leaving results on the table by not changing things more often. Either as a result of stagnation from doing the same thing, or doing something sub-optimal when they should be changing their programs earlier. Now, whilst I love tech and gadgets, this is not a sales pitch for your latest wearable, this is about understanding what actually works for you.
Ideally, the goal you have is in itself measurable, or at least has some indicators of whether you are on the correct path or not and if progress is at a reasonable rate. This may be health biomarkers from a blood test, outputs in training or even perhaps aesthetic goals. From there you can use these metrics to review training and track if your interventions are working. As mentioned there may be shorter term sub-metrics or indicator metrics that may help to make decisions quicker on what is working. This is where wearables may make sense, likewise a training diary may help understand some context.
So get specific about your goals, plot reasonable timelines, track progress (remembering it is at times non-linear) and plan next steps if things aren’t progressing as hoped.
So whether you are trying to achieve health or performance goals, ensuring you do not chase sunk costs is a crucial part to having success. This is by no means easy, it can be uncomfortable to admit you’ve been doing something ‘wrong’ or need to make a change (see this article on high performance) but it is certainly worth it. Ultimately it is freeing.
So perhaps you need more quit and less grit and if so, this is your sign (or permission if for some reason you think you needed it).